He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar ♥

Monday, January 23, 2006♥i am so tired.

i am feeling so depressed and sad now.
i have no idea why.

i know the meaning of my life.
thats to live for God and do wad he wants me to do.

everyone expects me to do this and that.
i am trying so hard that i am not even living my own life anymore.
i want the old cheerful self back.
i dun feel like myself anymore.
i feel like a shadow.
i dunno even know who i am now.

i need a break.
i wish i can just live my own life.

i wish people would just stop expecting such good grades.
good badminton or stuff like that.
yes. i wanna study hard. but i wanna do my own things too.
i dun wanna cry just cause i just passed my test.
i wonder why i cried.
because i hadnt lived up my parents expectations?
i am trying so hard.
i really am. why cant anyone understand me?

why do people always object to things that really make me happy.
i wanna baptise.
why must they object?
i wanna watch some comedy.
you wan me to study?
i wanna read some books.
you dun wanna buy for me?

i dun understand. i really need a break.
i have been trying so hard to live up to people's expectations that.
i really cant find myself anymore.

nobody hears the cries at night.
God. Help me please.
i feel so broken.
i wish i can be as carefree as i was during primary school.
i need love and concern from you guys.
not just God.

tears are falling from my cheeks as i type this.
i wonder why.
maybe its because..
i feel so broken up and stressed and sad that.
i am just not myself anymore.

CITYNIGHTLIFE;

Sunday, January 22, 2006♥I AM BLOGGING FINALLY.

after like.. so long, i finally decided to blog again. haha.
i have like totally nothing to say.
i think that emelia and christel is so lucky and blessed.

christel can get like.. almost anything she wants.
she seems almost perfect.
born into a christian family. get a new phone.
man. she just gets anything she wants.

as for emelia.
she gets all the books she wants.
as in.. her mum gets her the book she wants.
she has an mp3. a nice phone.

as for me?
nothing. mumma dun like to buy stuff for me.
books? i buy myself. phone? lousy. and i have to buy it myself soon.
mp3? daddy said he wanna buy. but.. i wonder where it is now.

owells. i guess some people arent as lucky as the others.
buhbye. feeling super moodless and sad now.

well. at least i have God.

CITYNIGHTLIFE;

Thursday, January 12, 2006♥HE"S GONE.

HE'S GONE.

and i accept it.

i still remember. hari raya. he passed away peacefully. but i still couldnt believe it.
his voice still rings ever so loudly in my ear. the picture comes into my mind. the times we shared flashed through my mind too.

some of you are wondering who i am pointing to?
i am talking my grandfather. my GONG GONG.

i didnt dare to post on the blog about him just because i am afraid that people will come and say, "oh my! i am so sorry. be strong okay?" i was just afraid that i will cry and break down. people might just think i am weakling. but now.. i am ever so sorry i thought that way. i am proud to say that my grandfather was strong. yes. strong. even at the point of death. he was still cracking jokes when he was terribly weak.

the next day, i went to school. i was sad. but thanks to nana and charm, i didnt think much about it. i thought i was over it. i thought i was fine. but no. later that day, i went to the wake. i looked at him. he looked happy. i was okay. but after looking at him after a period of time, i realized how much i missed him. i admit i didnt treasure the times we gad to together. but i am glad the picture is still there with me. the only thing i regretted not doing was not hugging him and telling him that i love him.

well. here goes. GONG GONG, I LOVE YOU. AND I ALWAYS WILL. I HOPE THAT YOU ARE REALLY HAPPY UP THERE WITH GOD. JUST DONT EVER FORGET THAT SOMEONE IS MISSING YOU EVERY MINUTE EVERYDAY. THATS ME GONGGONG.

well. i am glad i am done. i am not sad anymore. i know that he isnt suffering anymore. i am gonna do my best in life because i know that he is up that watching me.

CITYNIGHTLIFE;

Sunday, January 08, 2006♥FRIENDS IN SCHOOL.

YO :D
I AM IN SCHOOL NOW.
CAN GO MSN MESSENGER. FRIENDSTER. BLOG.
HOW COOL IS THAT (:

OH MAN. I MISS THEM.
THEM -> AUDREY. NORIKO. AMANDA. CHERIE. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE LA.

OWELLS. OKAY. BUHBYE (:

JUST WANNA REALLY SEE THEM AGAIN. AND TELL THEM.
THANKS FOR BEING MY FRIENDS AGAIN. (:
TO HUG THEM AND TELL THEM I LOVE THEM :D
WELL. FRIENDS FOREVER. :D

CITYNIGHTLIFE;

Friday, January 06, 2006♥GINA :D NANA :D CHARMAINA :D

athswahahaha. i put charmaine as charmaina nah so that it rhymes. cool rite ((x
yesterday's school was way FUN FUN FUN :D
first period was like. PE. -.- have to take height and weight ! i dun wan lorh. just wanted to take my height! 163 cm! wheee. but. have to take weight. argh. but i will not reveal it. so sad la.
ANYWAY ! I FOUND OUT ME AND NANA HAS ALOT OF COMMON ! WHOOT !

WeiHui and I have alot of stuff in common!
Like.. She got some long talk from Sir, she's really strong and can lob a shuttle very far like me and don't bring it down instead, both of us want to go slimming when we grow older (shh!), we seriously want to lose alot of weight, we want to learn the guitar, we both have almost the same height and almost the same weight, we both have abit similar hairstyles, Tessa says we look almost the same, and her parents expect her to be pro in alot of stuff!
Just like mine.

adapted from NANA's blog :D

yeahh. i AGREE. i copied from her blog so i neednt type so much. hahaha. oh yes. we were like mad for PE la. after realizing our weight, we went to do sit ups like mad people. hahaha. then after that, we had to run one round the school wad. so while we run we did so many stupid moves. ahahaha.

NEXT WAS MUSIC.

i was soooooo happy to get aquainted with my FAVOURITE teacher.
MY FAVOURITE MRS WILLIAM (:
ooh. so sad. she didnt come. i shall cry !!! WAHAHAHHAHAHAA. thats sounds like laughter. hahaha. well.. nana and i went to sit at the back of the class there la. hahaa. then gina and charmaine joined us. next, SOMEONE said that China men with american accent was hot.
but eww no.
i was going to watch chronicles of narnia with mingmin that day. and i heard them saying..

"hey. have you watch king KAAAANG?"
"oh maaaa gosh. jessica albaa is sooo HUUUUT."

the last sentence is sensored. haha. then.. tadkinah came over. dunno how to spell her name. then i remembered something from her DIRTY joke book.
but the fact was.. it wasnt even funny. lols.
then, we got to the topic of A to D cups. yeahh. it might be the drinking kind of cups ((x
then. well they said thatcharmaine was FLAT -.- but. hey. thats so mean.
at least she has figure wad. she isnt flat. just that it isnt BEEEG. haha.
well. then it went to ARTS.
poor mdm seah. we were like. not even listening. but she just continue yakking about artists and blah blah. O.o hahaa. well. for english?
NO COMMENTS. just read NANA'S AND CHAR'S BLOG .__."

after that. well. went for training. then. never mind. bye.

CITYNIGHTLIFE;

Wednesday, January 04, 2006♥SCHOOL STARTED :D

hello again. i decided to take a break for a while. man. I AM SO STRESSED !
anyway, let me talk about yesterday first. ((:

YESTERDAY :D

well. reached super early. supposed to meet tessa.then she bring me to my class. yeah.
meeting at 7 am. woah. 7.20am still havent come. then i am like.forget it man. i will just bring my bag to assembly loh. well. the principal and EVERYBODY talked so long that my leg ached from sitting down okay ! it was like..from. 7.30am to 10am?? crossed-legged somemore. haha. i think i was shy yesterday. well. of course i felt that way la. my class everybody stare at me like as if i am a monster larh. argh. except for wan en. yeahh. she was like.. "you are emelia's cousin? i am wan en.hello!" then she was smiling brightly and erm. wanted to shake my hand -.- hahaha. well. she was my first friend in my class. ((: we met mrs taufiq and mrs william -.- i like mrs taufiq. she is nice (: but strict. reminds me of mrs chaim. hahaha. she crack jokes with you too. hahaha. mrs william. YUCK. not that i dun like her. she like a little bit psycho like that. hahaha. but.. i guess. she is quite nice and funny. that day, my first few friends were :
- Chloe
- Jia En
- Wan En
- Charmain
- Fu Hua
- NANA :D
- Shivani
- Serene

well. they had left an impression on me. so i think its them only. yeah. then had training. sprained my ankle! yay! so happy! happy my FOOT. argh.hurts like hell yesterday.but now, it is fine (: sir talked to me. dunno whether i wanna continue badminton until JC lehh. perhaps.

TODAY :D

not posting bout that that day.wahahaha. wanted to continue updating it today. but. owells.
I HAVE MUCH MORE THINGS TO POST ON TODAY ((x

CITYNIGHTLIFE;

Sunday, January 01, 2006♥ONE NEW YEAR .

HELLO :D
its 2006 already. so fast ehh? yeah. decided to restart the blog AGAIN. -.- hahaha.

my new year resolutions are :

- no chocolates !
- no sweets !
- bring more people to Christ ! [Faith: AMEN]
- study VERY VERY hard !
- do my BEST in badminton !
- do QUIET TIME everyday ! try to do it in the morning !
- save at LEAST $10 every week !

i think thats all. yupp. if got anymore, i will add wan la. hahaha.
i am excited about school! excited bout the OUTREACH! i am gonna revive TKGS! yeahh!
christel came back already (: so happy. i missed my darling little PRINCESS SARAH. haha. she just came back from New Zealand. she bought roxy cap for me ((: how sweet of her rite. simply love her so much. wished she was my younger sister (: she is just so cute. haha. today she simply laughed at everything. not funny i also dunno why she laugh -.-
tml we going to street e. ((: wonder who i will be paired up with. YES YES. i am very excited (: mayb before that we going to go swimming! whee! go play with WATER!
anyway, weijing just CUT my fringe. i suppose it is quite okay la. at least my eyes dun hurt anymore mah. haha. well. i guess that is all.
BYE :D

I AM GONNA GET BAPTIZED. AND NOTHING IS GONNA STOP ME.

CITYNIGHTLIFE;